How do you feel about your birth experience?
I feel good about it. It was tough being away from my husband for a long time, but I had a great support system of family and friends to help me before and after my daughter's birth.
What would you change and how?
I wouldn't change much, although I ended up having to be induced in order to deliver my baby before my husband had to leave to head back to Brazil. It was a very tough and lengthy labor and delivery, as a result. I hope to not have to repeat that in the future.
Why did you chose to go for your delivery?
I chose to go back to the states because I felt like I had more good reasons to go than stay. Primarily, because this was my first baby and I didn't really know what to expect with childbirth as it was, let alone giving birth in a foreign country where I don't speak the language well and medical practices are different than in America. The rate of C-sections is extremely (and in my opinion, alarmingly) high in Brazil, and I didn't want to worry that my doctor might not be familiar with vaginal births, epidurals, etc. or might even be unwilling to help me try to have my baby the old fashioned way. My husband expressed an interest in me staying and giving birth to our daughter, Ava, here, but also told me he wanted me to be comfortable and that he supported whatever I decided. I ultimately decided I wanted to feel as comfortable as possible -- physically and emotionally -- and back in Texas was where I could do that.
I am also very close to my family and so I was happy to spend such a long time at home with them, despite the fact that I obviously missed my husband, Jeff. I definitely felt his absence the most after Ava was a week old and Jeff had to leave to come back to Brasilia and back to work. I was staying with my parents, and they helped me with Ava all day and in the evenings, but I did not ever wake them up to help me with her in the middle of the night, as I sure as heck would have done to Jeff, had he been around. I felt a bit like a single mom to a newborn during some sleepless nights and early morning feedings, and that was tough. Another plus, though, was having a lot of family come in from out of town to see us. I didn't have to worry and wonder about when everyone was going to get to meet my baby. If they wanted to come we were just a few cities or states away, not an international flight away.
Although it wasn't a deciding factor for me, the shopping that I was able to do before and after my daughter's birth was a major positive to being back in the states. Need one more larger pair of pants? I'll just go pick one up. And after Ava's birth, once I had a better idea of what she needed or didn't, I was able to easily and inexpensively go buy everything we wanted.
Why did you chose your doctor/midwife? Were you happy with your choice?
I chose my doctor here based on recommendations from the Health Unit and word of mouth. Dra. Salete Rios is a good doctor and a very nice person who also speaks English. She gave me her cell phone and told me to call her if I ever needed her, and meant it. She has a small office that was often packed, and I sometimes had to wait a long time past my appointment time. You can't be in a hurry for regular check ups. Dra. Salete doesn't do sonograms in her office. She sent me to a female radiologist in Victoria Medical Center, the same building where Dra. Salete's office is located. Her name was Dra. Luciana Souza at Santa Clara, and she was very nice, very professional and spoke great English.
I chose my doctor in the states by going through the list of doctors in my insurance's network, then narrowing them down by location and whether or not they were board certified, which was important to me. I also looked for reviews online from real past patients. I chose Dr. John Thoppil at Cedar Park Medical Center and was very happy with him.
Did you feel like you had control over your labor experience? Is there anything you would do differently?
Yes and no. My daughter was slightly overdue, and my husband had to leave within the week, so my doctor suggested I be induced. I was induced, according to plan, but my body must have really not been ready yet because I was in labor with painful contractions for more than 15 hours before I was dilated enough to push, and before that things were progressing so slowly that my doctor suggested a C-section at one point. I ended up pushing for FIVE hours before Ava arrived. It was a very tough labor and delivery. I was, however, aware at all times of what was going on, and able to talk to my doctor and the nurses about what our next move should be, my pain levels, my concerns, etc. These were conversations I couldn't have had in Portuguese. Looking back, I wouldn't change much of anything, because we had to do what we had to do in order for my daughter to arrive before my husband had to leave, but I hope to not have to be induced in the future. My nurses, doctor, aftercare, etc. were all phenomenal. Everyone worked hard to make sure that I was as comfortable and cared for as possible, my delivery and recovery rooms were clean, comfortable and state-of-the-art.
Did you find Brasilia to be a pregnant-friendly place? How so?
Most definitely! In the states, you are lucky to find a "mother-to-be" parking spot outside a store and that about ends your maternity benefits. Here in Brazil, there is a preferencial line or "caixa preferencial" in pretty much every type of store or bank, which lets you get fast-tracked through a special checkout line. You can even cut in front of other people, if you are ballsy enough. (I never really was... it's so foreign to me.) During a Carnival event in Brasilia last year, I had to use the bathroom and went and stood at the back of a line of, like, 30 drunk women at a gas station. Within a minute of catching sight of me and my huge baby belly, they all unanimously agreed, and in fact, insisted, that I go to the very front of the line. Amazing! Having a baby with you also gets you preferencial treatment. I still get this VIP treatment at most places when I have Ava with me.
How was the treatment of your newborn by the hospital staff?
Wonderful. Couldn't have been better. They were there to help and checked on me and the baby often, but weren't overbearing, either. They tried to be as respectful as possible of our need for family alone time, but also were there in a jiffy to help with Ava if I was struggling with something or needed some rest. They also sent me home with all kinds of freebies -- for Ava and for me. I still use the baby brush they gave us on her.
If you had assistance with breastfeeding, was is useful?
I did have assistance with breastfeeding that was helpful. I took a childbirth class and a breastfeeding class in the states while I was home at the end of my pregnancy. (I had looked into doing this with my husband in Brasilia, but the only people who offered such a class in English charged an arm and a leg for it, and I didn't get the sense that I'd be learning the same kinds of things that classes in the states offer.) Both of the classes I took in the states had good information about breastfeeding. After Ava was born, I fed her successfully within about an hour to establish a bond and get things going, but I still needed help along the way, in the following days and weeks. My nurses at the hospital were there to help when I became very exasperated with my lack of sleep and a little trouble with our latch. They helped me a great deal to relax physically and mentally. A week later, when I was back at my parents' home where I was staying, I was so engorged that I was in pain, and the hospital's lactation consultant helped me with some tips. She had left me her card and told me to call anytime. She was very accommodating.
Anything else we should know?
If you are going to go back to the states, or even considering it, read the packet on what to do when you are Medevac'd, available from the Health Unit, and contact the nurses in D.C., as you will be instructed to. Study up on what you will need to do to get your baby his or her passport and visa and don't delay on any portion of this stuff if you want to be back with your spouse within six weeks after the baby is born (about the shortest, fastest possible turnover time for all the required documentation to get you both home). Don't be shy about writing "URGENT!" "DIPLOMAT WITH NEWBORN!" and things like that on the outside of the FedEx envelopes that you will have to send in for you baby's passport and visa. The paperwork on maternity medevacs even suggests that you do so. I also emailed and called the people I was sending this stuff to. It helped. I got Ava's passport within maybe five days and the same with the visa. Be pro-active.
